


Silver Shadows and Hard Regrets

by YvaJ



Category: The Purple Rose of Cairo (1985)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-14
Updated: 2017-06-14
Packaged: 2018-11-13 23:58:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11196174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YvaJ/pseuds/YvaJ
Summary: Cecilia's story on screen ended in a bad way, but her story continues and she finally gets her happy ending.





	Silver Shadows and Hard Regrets

**Author's Note:**

> This story was written over the course of two days, but the idea had been kicking around in my mind for a long time. Why can't movies always have a happy ending? Tragedy exists enough in real life and fantasy is a part of the escape from the reality. So this idea was born so that I could see and share a happy end to a good, but tragic story.

**Silver Shadows and Hard Regrets**

By: YvaJ

Doris McFarland was a kindly soul who co-owned the Jewel Movie House on the main street of a small New Jersey town. Day in and day out, she would watch as the locals came in to watch films as well as enjoy a sometimes over-salted bag of popcorn. It was a humble means of making a living, but still it supplied her family with food on the table and a roof over their heads.

Because it was a small community, Doris knew most of the locals either by name or by physical recognition. She also knew most of the stories that surrounded them based on rumor or supposition. She had a keen understanding and nonjudgmental acceptance that most of them used the cinema as a form of escapism. The reality of 1930’s America was anything but positive and so there were no reasons for her cast dispersions on them. She further knew that issues of alcohol abuse and domestic violence ran rampant in their broken community. Clearly, there were many a demon to be had, but most of their struggles were hidden beneath a brave face and a determined smile.

As the last of the Hollywood people were filtering outside of the theatre, Doris smiled ironically at how quickly the elitist tune could change. She watched as Gil Shepherd walked smugly outside with one of the local women on his arm.

Watching them emerging made Doris suddenly sick to her stomach. She had spoken briefly with Gil and she did not like him a single bit. He was pompous and arrogant, his eyes empty and his heart as cold as ice.

She released a pent up sigh when she suddenly recognized who it was the movie star was now escorting. As it turned out, it was a young woman named Cecilia, one of the most kind-hearted and impressionable people the movie house proprietor had ever met.

She continued to observe the pair out of the corner of her eye. After several moments, Gil leaned down and whispered something in her ear, kissed her cheek and then watched as she walked slowly down the street in the direction of where she lived. As soon as she was gone, his lips twisted into a casual sneer.

“Now that I have her out of the way, I can get out of here and go back to Hollywood,” the actor muttered under his breath. He started to walk back towards the door leading into the movie house. As he passed by, Doris heard even more of his utterances. He was mumbling about playing ‘Limburg’ in his next picture.

Once he had gone inside and disappeared into the screening room, Doris returned to the lobby. As she was walking the length of the front room, she came face to face with the man who had introduced himself as, Raoul Hirsch, the producer of ‘The Purple Rose of Cairo’.

Despite everything that had happened with Gil Shepherd and the character that he had portrayed, the producer was beaming like a Cheshire cat. Without thinking, he shoved a film roll into her hands. “Would you be so kind as to get me a film canister for this?”

“Of course, Mr. Hirsch,” she said calmly. “I can get the original one with the label from the studio if you would like. They are kept in the room where the projector is.

“Yes, yes, then please do so,” he said impatiently, “I need to talk to Gil, do you know where he went?”

“Uh yes, I do, he went into the screening room,” she said. “I’ll go and retrieve the canister and bring it back here.”

He nodded and as soon as he had hastened away, she took a deep breath and started to make her way in the direction of the projector room. Before reaching it, her thoughts quickly returned to the woman she had seen with Gil Shepherd only moments before. Her concern was now piqued for the woman’s well being.

She did not know Cecilia all that well, but she knew enough about her to feel a protective sense when it came to the woman’s sensibilities. It was no secret; everyone in town either knew her or knew of her and the horrific circumstances that she was subjected to living under. She had been married just under five years to a man named Monk. His reputation was that of a drunkard with a violent personality. Instead of looking for work, he depended on Cecilia to sustain his lackadaisical lifestyle. He spent the day pitching pennies and gambling away what little money she managed to scrape together.

Cecilia had been stuck in a dead end reality doing odd jobs and working as a waitress in the run-down diner at the end of the lane. That had been the case until the week before when she had arrived at the movie house still dressed in her waitress uniform and bought a ticket for the noon matinee. This was a tell-tale sign that the young woman had lost her job and was deathly afraid to go home.

Doris bypassed a small roped off section that separated the lobby from a small wooden nondescript staircase. Calmly, she ascended the stairs until she had reached the second floor of the movie house. A small corridor greeted her with two doors, one on the left and one on the right. The door on the left had a black and white sticker that read ‘Private’ and this was the door she casually unlocked.

Entering the room, she could see the projector propped up on a heavy tripod. The table that was shoved up next to it had not only film canisters scattered across it, but there were also several unmarked film reels, a half-full ashtray, and a white sheet of paper with blue writing on it. The paper she recognized to be the screening schedule for the next four weeks.

She raised her head and glanced through the glass window that separated the viewing room from the projector and could see Gil Shepherd casually walking along the rows of seats. Taking a deep breath she diverted her focus away from the actor and down to the reel that was still in her hand. She began to look for the canister with the words ‘Hirsch Productions’ stenciled across it. When she found it, she noticed that the film title was also present.

Instead of putting the film inside the marked canister, she went over and grabbed an old reel from off the shelf. Casting a quick glance around the room she removed the lid and added the old reel. It looked exactly the same as the original and she figured that given how skittish these men had been behaving about this particular film, they would not notice that it had been switched out at all. In fact, based on what she understood about their intentions, the film was going to be destroyed and the negatives were to be burnt.

Smiling slightly, she grabbed one of the unmarked canisters and put the reel inside it. She then went over and placed the canister with the original film on the shelf. Returning to the table, she picked up the canister and carried it out of the room. Once she had exited, she locked the room, and descended the stairwell.

~~~~~

As she reached the landing, Doris could see that Gil Shepherd had emerged from the screening room and appeared to be waiting for someone. She wondered if that someone was Raoul Hirsch. Instead of remaining silent, she approached Gil and offered him a reserved smile. “Mr. Shepherd,” she spoke, all the while maintaining some semblance of formality. “Mr. Hirsch asked me to retrieve the canister for this and now I can’t find him anywhere. Seeing as I have a great deal of work to do, I think I can safely turn this over to you?”

The actor nodded stiffly before accepting the canister. He glanced towards the front door and when he saw Raoul Hirsch, he breezed past her and made a hasty exit.

Doris watched his retreating back for several moments and once he had disappeared outside, she crossed her arms smugly over her chest. “Yes, you do that you pompous little weasel!” she muttered as the door closed casually behind them.

“I take it you are not keen on our guests,” a voice emerged and she turned around to see that her husband had joined her. The older man smiled as his gaze followed hers. “So, what was that all about?” he asked as he casually wrapped a gentle arm around her shoulders, the smile never leaving his face.

“I was just thinking about how nice it will be to have things back to normal around here. I can only take so much of those snotty Hollywood types,” she muttered.

“Maybe we went into the wrong business after all,” he mused.

“Hollywood up there on the silver screen is fine by me,” she began, “I just can’t stand having to behave cordially with those bossy men who insist on hanging around here and spreading their toxins throughout the community. We have enough problems without having them lurking about.”

The older man nodded. “Well, that may be so, but looks as though our little Cecilia has taken a shine to one of those bossy men. Perhaps we should be happy for her.”

“Don’t hold your breath, sweetheart, that Gil Shepherd is about as slimy as they come,” she said. “And you can bet your bottom dollar that he will not be around when Cecilia comes back here to meet him. They are making tracks out of here as fast as humanly possible.”

“You may be right,” he said with an unhappy nod. “Oh well, I suppose I’d better go and get the next marquee up.”

“Yes, and I still have some cleaning to do before the next show starts.” She gave his shoulder a loving squeeze before they set out to prepare the Jewel theatre for the next film debut.

**A Little Over a Week Later…**

As Cecilia brought the steaming mug of coffee to her lips, she took a deep breath before taking a long sip of the chocolate brown substance. It had been close to ten days since Hollywood and her small New Jersey town had collided in what the local newspaper had dubbed as a ‘scandal of massive proportions’.

Painful as it were, Cecilia had tried to maintain a low profile, but this did not stop her infrequent trips to the movie house. No one knew that the thoughts that literally consumed her were not at all about Gil Shepherd and his betrayal. Instead, her emotions had been consumed with guilt and remorse over the sorrow that she had unintentionally caused Tom Baxter. She knew that the kindhearted and loyal man had entered and exited her life in the most dramatic and heartbreaking manner possible.

Cecilia returned the cup to the table only to feel tears streaming from beneath her puffy, red eyes. _He wasn’t real,_ she tried to rationalize with herself for the umpteenth time. Of course, she knew that there was no way that she could convince herself of that because the heartache she carried was far too immense.

In the other room, she could hear the sounds of her husband, Monk, getting up. It was soon replaced by the water steadily running in the bathroom. As it was being turned off, it soon gave way to his large frame filling up the doorway. Without saying a word, he stared coldly down at her, grunted once, and wordlessly left the house.

 _The one good thing to come of all of this is that Monk hasn’t hit me since everything happened,_ Cecilia thought as she returned her attention to the lukewarm coffee that sat before her.

After several minutes had passed, she slowly got to her feet before picking up the cup and walking over to the sink. After placing it in the bottom of the sink, she slowly walked into the living room where her gaze came to rest on the ukulele that was in the corner of the room.

Gil had bought it for her when they had visited the music store, but she hadn’t touched it since the day he left. There was a small part of her that wanted to crush the offending object, but another part felt honored by the fact that such a big star would buy something for her that held sentimental value.

Cecilia remembered the kiss they had exchanged just after he had sung ‘I Love My Baby, My Baby Loves Me’ during that same outing. It had been less than perfect, but the reality was that that kiss had lacked the love and sentiment that she yearned for. He had dubbed his kisses with actresses as ‘movie kisses’ and the harsh truth was the realization that Cecilia had been completely duped by his theatrics as well. As it turned out, Gil Shepherd was even less real than the character of Tom Baxter.

Despite her unwillingness to do so, her thoughts shifted from Gil to Tom. She could not help but miss him; his inquisitiveness, his compassion, and his heartfelt desire to make her happy. He had offered her the moon and she had rejected it. From the first night she had spent with him, the attraction had been undeniable. After that first kiss, she felt completely breathless in his arms. The second kiss had been as intoxicating as the champagne that they had shared earlier in the evening.

 _I’ve got to stop thinking about him,_ she thought, all the while trying to fight back the tears. Instead of sinking into more daydreams, she retreated to the bathroom to splash some cold water over her face.

Seconds later, there came a knock at the door and Cecilia turned off the water and reached for a towel. Wiping it over her face, she tossed it on the sink as she trudged her way towards the front door. Pulling it open, she smiled slightly when she recognized Doris from the movie house standing on the other side.

“Hey Honey, how you doing?” Doris asked in the form of a greeting. “I saw you last night at the movie house but we were so busy that I didn’t get a chance to see how you were doing.”

“I’m okay,” Cecilia responded albeit unconvincingly.

“You don’t sound okay, you sound even more downtrodden than usual,” the older woman remarked. “Would it be okay if I come in?”

“Sure, come on in.” She held the door open so that the woman could enter. Once the two of them were inside, Cecilia closed the door and they went into the living room and sat down.

“I guess last week was pretty hard for you, wasn’t it?” Doris asked.

“You knew about that?” she asked.

“It would be hard to work at the movie house and not know about it,” Doris said softly.

“It’s embarrassing,” Cecilia whispered. “Everyone must think I’m the biggest fool in the world.”

“No, they just think that you wanted a better life and thought that was the way to attain it.”

“The trouble is, that only happens in movies,” Cecilia whispered. “The lights eventually do come back on and the world keeps turning.”

“You know, I saw Gil Shepherd just before he left,” Doris said. “I think you’re better off without him. Those Hollywood people aren’t your type, Cecilia. You’re far too good and kind for the likes of them.”

“But, in learning that, I lost everything,” she whispered. “I lost Tom.”

“You really did fall in love with that fancy pants adventurer, didn’t you?”

“I guess I did,” she whispered.

“You know I was in the room when Tom Baxter came down from the screen and walked over to where you were seated,” Doris said. “I found out the rest when those Hollywood guys showed up.”

“I just want to forget it all ever happened,” she whispered. “The movie’s over and I’ve got to get back into the real world.”

“Sometimes the real world ain’t very nice though,” Doris said. “I think you’ve had more than your fill of that, haven’t you?”

“Maybe,” she said. “So who all really knows what happened with Gil and Tom?”

“Only a couple of people are aware of it,” Doris said. “Believe me Honey those Hollywood types don’t want anyone else to know about what happened. Do you know how bad it would look for them or their careers to have you come out and tell the world what they did to you?”

In lieu of a response, Cecilia looked down at her lap and stared at the folds of her skirt. When Doris began to speak again, she raised her head. “I brought you something that might make you feel a little bit better about all of this,” Doris said as she reached into the large bag she was carrying and pulled out a film canister.

“What is that?” Cecilia asked softly.

“It’s our copy of _‘The Purple Rose of Cairo’_. Now, I know that you don’t have the means to play it, but I want you to put this in a safe place so that nobody will be able to find it. I imagine Raoul Hirsch would have a fit if he knew that I switched the reels the night they all left.”

“Why did you do it?” Cecilia asked her voice indicative that she was intrigued. “You could get into trouble for it.”

“Well, let’s just say I’m big on the preservation of the arts,” Doris said with a wink. She took a deep breath and continued, her voice emerging in a hushed whisper. “You can also call me a sucker for a happy ending. I didn’t like the way your story went down and I most certainly didn’t want to watch you run off to tinsel town with that pompous, two-faced jackal.”

“I take it you don’t like Gil Shepherd very much, do you?”

“No, I don’t, I could see right through him,” Doris said as she extended the object to Cecilia and waited for her to accept the proffered object. Once she accepted it, Doris continued speaking. “Now, I want you to hold onto this. When the time is right, promise me that you’ll watch this movie from start to finish and hopefully Tom Baxter will remember and come back to you.”

“I don’t know if he would forgive me,” Cecilia whispered.

“If he truly loves you, he will,” Doris said. “This is how love really is; you make a mistake and the one who loves you will forgive you. We’ll all human, Cecilia and none of us are perfect or deserve the lot you’ve received with that husband of yours. When you see Tom again, and you will, then you tell him that. Tell him that you made a mistake and ask him to forgive that mistake.”

Cecilia was still holding the canister tightly to her chest after Doris had left.

Once she was alone, she took the canister and hid it in the bottom of her underwear drawer. She knew that it was the one place in the house where Monk would never dare look.

**Two Years Later**

The canister that held the last remaining copy of _‘The Purple Rose of Cairo’_ was still safe in the dresser where Cecilia had hidden it. The actors had not returned and all the copies of the movie had been destroyed. The newspapers had reported that it was due to a fire that had taken place at the production company out in Los Angeles, but Doris and Cecilia both knew the real reason.

Once the people from Hollywood had returned to their lives out west, Cecilia managed to get a job at the movie house selling tickets and popcorn. She loved the work and loved being surrounded by the glitter of the silver screen. For two years, she worked diligently at the movie house and watched every film that was screened there. It was escapism at its best. Of course, it was also during a time when the country was preparing itself for war, so escapism had become something of a necessity.

As things changed for Cecilia, she watched as her husband became more and more violent and difficult to live with; his bouts of drunkenness were almost too much for her take. Doris began to see bruises on Cecilia’s arms and once the young woman had come to work with a black eye. The beatings had resumed and no one was certain about whether or not she would be able to survive it much longer.

Finally one day in mid April, Monk had decided to leave home. Instead of saying anything to Cecilia about his intentions, he simply woke up one morning, stole her suitcase from under the bed, packed his belongings, and walked out without the intention of ever coming back.

Cecilia had gone to work that morning in a daze. She was not sure if Monk would do what she had often done in the past, or if he was gone for good. As each day crawled by without a word from him, she grew to no longer care. As hard as it had been, she had managed to get the divorce finalized, change the locks on the door, clean up the house, and resolve herself to getting on with living. She refused to drown herself in self-pity and knew that when she returned to work, it would be to tell Doris that she finally made the necessary changes in her life. Why she had waited, she did not know.

“I’ve been waiting for you to do this, Honey,” Doris said as the two women sat down in two of the seats furthest back in the screening room.

“I was scared to. I didn’t know if he was going to come back. I guess I realized that it was time to grow up. I mean; I had to get on with it, I couldn’t just sit around feeling sorry for myself any longer.”

“You did enough of that already, but I can understand why,” Doris said smiling gently. “Do you still have the movie I gave you two years ago?”

Cecilia nodded. “Yes, it’s still hidden in the same place.”

“Before you can get on with it, you do realize that watching that film is the last step, don’t you?”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“You have to face Tom Baxter now. You weren’t ready then, you were just a starry-eyed girl who wanted to have a better life, but now you’ve got that better life. Now, you can see him in a different light. You can face him as an independent woman faces a man. You’re on equal footing now and I think today’s the day that you put that movie on and face the consequences.”

“What if he doesn’t come?”

“What if he does? What if the only thing that is keeping you from playing that film is your fear of what might happen when you do?” Doris asked. “You’re ready Cecilia; you’re ready for whatever may come of this and it doesn’t matter what anyone says. When you sit down and watch that film, you will be doing so in the privacy of your own home. No one has to know whether or not Tom Baxter came back for you.”

“I don’t have a projector,” she whispered.

“I will give you the old one,” Doris said. “It’s been sitting here in cold storage. I want you to take it home and give yourself a chance.”

Cecilia looked into the eyes of her friend. “Are you sure?”

Doris smiled and offered the young woman an affirmative nod. “I have never been more certain of anything in my life.”

“Thank you,” Cecilia whispered as she leaned over and hugged her friend tightly. “I promise to try.”

“Today,” Doris pressed.

“Yes, today,” Cecilia affirmed.

~~~~~

After her shift had ended Cecilia left the movie house, the projector box tucked awkwardly under her arm. As she walked along the street with the box, she was smiling nervously.

The moment Doris had given her the old projector, Cecilia had started practicing in her mind what she was going to say and do when she saw Tom Baxter again. As she made her way up the steps to the front door, her mind was a jumble. She was frightened, but she was also determined.

Coming inside, she went over and placed the projector on the table before taking off her coat and hat. Next, she began to set up the projector, all the while the anticipation somehow becoming more than she could handle. Tom Baxter would be back on the screen and she would see him again.

As her thoughts continued to drift, her anticipation shifted to anxiety because she knew the extent of pain that she had caused Tom. She remembered the sorrow in his eyes when he turned away from her and walked back into the movie. It was heart wrenching for her to witness and when it was over, she realized that what she felt for him was not pity, it was love. During the brief time they spent together, she had fallen in love with him and now she wondered if he could still feel for her what she felt for him.

She knew that although people said that absence made the heart grow fonder, to her, Tom Baxter’s absence only left a gaping hole in hers.

“Tom,” she whispered his name, her voice cracking like that of a nervous teenager. Doris had been absolutely right, she had to do this. Before she could carry on with her life, she had to know whether or not he had forgiven her for betraying his love and devotion.

Taking a deep breath, she retreated to her bedroom and opened the drawer. Digging around inside it, she found the reel and pulled it out before returning to the living room. She placed the canister on the table before going over and removing the picture that was on the wall above the sofa leaving a small hook that had been hammered into the wall.

Returning to the projector, she managed to affix the film through the machine and into an empty reel. She turned on the projector briefly so that the film would catch and then stopped it. She then went over and pulled the drapes over the windows so as to darken the room. Next, she walked back over to the projector, turned it on and sat down on a straight-back chair and waited for the movie to begin.

As it did, her throat suddenly became very dry as she watched the opening credits. White cards covered the yellowish white walls and the familiar music filled her ears. Instead of thinking about anything that was going on around her, Cecilia stared at the screen and watched as _‘The Purple Rose of Cairo’_ began.

Now, the only thought that was going through her mind was: _this is real_.

As the film progressed, Cecilia’s emotions were going completely crazy as she stared transfixed at the images that were playing out on the screen. The scenes were changing and after what seemed like forever, Tom Baxter appeared on the screen for the very first time. Without thinking, she got to her feet and approached the images that were dancing across the wall.

As she lightly touched the wall, she sighed when the plaster was all that met her expectant fingers. She returned to the chair and sat back down. “Tom,” she whispered his name, but when no response emerged from him and his practiced lines continued as they had done so many times before, she could feel her hopes literally being dashed.

By the time the film had reached the end of the scene in Egypt, Cecilia could feel the tears stinging her eyes and she found herself ready to turn off the projector. She reached over with the intention of doing so, but stopped abruptly when she recalled the promise she had made to Doris.

The older woman had been right; it was time for her to get on with her life and that meant sitting through this movie and making certain that she had finally found the courage and willingness to made peace with her past.

Lowering her hand again, she stared as the scene switched to that fancy hotel in New York and the group of characters had gotten ready to leave for the Copacabana. It was then that the dialogue on screen was suddenly overshadowed by Cecilia’s broken words.

“I’m sorry Tom,” she whispered her voice uncharacteristically soft, but still filled with sadness. She reached in her pocket and extracted a small white handkerchief. As she wiped it over her face and smeared away the tears, she continued. “I’m so sorry I hurt you. I know I made the wrong decision and if I could…” her voice trailed and she swallowed hard against the lump that was now lodged in the recesses of her throat. “…If I could do it all over again, I would have chosen you.” She paused for several moments and then taking a deep breath, she spoke her voice firm and filled with all the emotion that she could muster. “I love you, Tom Baxter. Do you hear me? I love you!”

As these words drifted to the stillness of the room, Cecilia realized that her eyes had unconsciously closed as she had been speaking. The film was still running, but the entire group assembled on the screen had grown uncharacteristically silent as well.

~~~~~

In the center of the group Tom stood. He was staring out at the woman who was seated in the darkened room.

 _She loves me,_ he was thinking. _Cecilia loves me_. He watched as she closed her eyes and allowed the tears to stream down her cheeks. _How worn-down and haggard she looks._ He began to take in the room where she was seated. _This does not look like the movie house at all. What is this dreary looking place?_

He took a step closer and half expected her to raise her head. When she did not, he took the incentive and spoke, his single word soft. “Cecilia.”

No response, instead she remained where she was on the chair, her head still lowered and the wadded up handkerchief still tightly clenched in one of her hands.

“Cecilia,” he spoke her name a second time, this time his voice a fraction louder.

Upon hearing this, she raised her head slowly. “Tom?” she tried to speak his name, but only a soft utterance emerged. The dryness in her throat was now preventing simple statements from emerging.

“Yes, my love, it’s me,” he whispered as he extended both of his hands out towards her. He did not even begin to hope that he would be able to step away from his film world and walk into hers. He took another step forward, this time the other people in the hotel room were watching with piqued curiosity as Tom stepped closer and closer to the edge of his world.

Inside the film, the other characters could see that Cecilia was still seated in front of the screen, her shoulders slumped and her head lowered. It was abundantly clear that she had not noticed much of what had happened on screen, her only response had been the single word she had spoken once she had heard Tom speak her name.

At that moment, his motives had become crystal clear. Just as he had done at the Jewel movie house two years prior, he stepped out of his world and walked with confident steps across the room and over to where she was seated.

Reaching her, the first thing he noticed was doing everything she could to keep from crying.

Eventually, she spoke, her words a whisper, but they were loud enough for him to hear. “I don’t know if I can dare to hope or dream of anything.”

Tom got down on his knees in front of her and with each of his hands he reached out and touched her cheeks. “Without your dreams I couldn’t be here,” he said softly. “Please don’t cry, Cecilia, everything is going to be alright now. We’re together and nothing will ever separate us again.”

Upon hearing these words, Cecilia raised her head and felt herself drawn into his embrace. His hands came to rest against the back of her head and he pulled her against his chest. At that moment, her body sagged against his, her muffled words emerging. “It’s you, it’s really you.” She raised a hesitant hand and brushed her fingertips lightly against his cheek. “I thought I was dreaming.”

“You’re not dreaming, it’s really me, but what has happened to you? What is this ghastly place?”

“A great deal has happened, Tom, it’s been two years since we last saw each other,” she began.

“Two years?”

She nodded, “yes.”

Tom nodded as he started to take in his new surroundings. The room where they were was considerably smaller than the movie house and he concluded that this was where Cecilia lived. Taking a deep breath, he looked at her, his gaze laced in concern instead of condemnation. “What happened with Gil? We are not in his home, are we?”

Cecilia inhaled slowly but shook her head. “I haven’t seen Gil Shepherd since the day he left two years ago. He never loved me, Tom, it was all just an act and I stupidly fell for it.”

Instead of responding to these words, Tom looked down at her left hand and noticed that the wedding band she had worn before was no longer there. “Now you’re all alone?”

She nodded. “Yes, my husband walked out on me about a month ago. The divorce was finalized this week.”

“I’m sorry,” Tom whispered.

“It wasn’t your fault, it was mine,” she said bravely. “I guess after what I did to you, I got what I deserved.”

Tom’s eyes widened and he looked at her with shock in his gaze. “You don’t mean that.”

“Yes, I do, I was too cowardly to tell you how much I love you and I didn’t fully realize it until after you were gone. When everything fell apart, I figured that what happened to me must have been payback for the horrible things I did to you.”

“It was never my intention for you to put yourself down about this,” he said softly. “I was very unhappy, yes, but I could also understand why you did what you did. You wanted to find happiness in the real world, but the question is, did you?”

As she felt his piercing gaze on her, she took a deep breath and shook her head. “No, for the most part, all I found was pain and sorrow.” She paused for a moment and reached for his hand. “I’m sorry for what I did, can you ever forgive me?”

“Of course I can,” he said gently. “I would never have stood in the way of you finding happiness.” He released her hand and wrapped a gentle arm around her and pulled her closer. “I wish I could have spared you from the pain.”

As she felt his arms around her, she smiled slightly. “You’re not just saying that be kind, are you?”

“No, I’m saying that because it’s the truth and because I hate to see you berate yourself about this,” he said sincerely. “I would never have wanted to see you suffer.”

“Not even after I hurt you?” she whispered.

“When I say ‘never’ I mean _never_ , Cecilia,” he admonished.

“That’s why it was all so painful,” she whispered as she reached out and touched the sleeve of his jacket. “It took your absence to make me to realize just how much I love you and the extent of emptiness I felt when you were gone.”

Tom leaned in and kissed her. The kiss was as she remembered, perfect, and without thinking about what was happening, she allowed her body to completely collapse in his arms. As she wound her arms around him, she could feel the kiss deepening and his arms tightening their hold on her.

When the kiss finally broke, he smiled at her. “Yes, I do remember what you said about the ‘fade out’.”

Despite her hammering heart, she nodded as she looked deeply into his eyes. “What’s going to happen now?”

“I don’t know, but right now it’s more important for us to celebrate what we have at this moment instead of worrying about how we could have done things differently two years ago.”

“In other words, we should not be dwelling on past mistakes,” she whispered as she allowed her hands to brush lightly through his hair. Moments passed and she removed his hat and placed it on the small table where the projector was. “Tom, I was so afraid to play the movie, I didn’t know if there was something left for us.”

“And what did you find, Cecilia,” he whispered as he turned around and could see that the hotel room on the screen was now empty. The others had dispersed during the time when they had been speaking and now the two of them were alone.

“I found the man I love,” she whispered as she crawled down from the chair and was now sitting next to him on the floor. “I only hope that despite everything that has happened, you can still love me the way I love you.”

Nodding, he reached over and with both hands pressed against either side of her face he leaned in and gently kissed her.

When the kiss ended, he stood up and once he had helped her to her feet, he led her towards the screen. “Come with me, Cecilia. There is nothing holding you back now.”

She nodded as she felt herself being led through the haze and into the black and white world. As the hotel’s vastness surrounded them and the city’s lights beckoned them, Cecilia sighed in happiness. “If this is a dream, don’t wake me up,” she whispered.

Tom smiled as he kissed her again, this time more passionately than she had ever been kissed before. As soon as the kiss broke, she looked at him as her skin began to unconsciously tingle. “Is this what a ‘fade out’ feels like?”

He nodded and smiled as he stared lovingly into her eyes. “Yes, Cecilia, welcome to my world.”


End file.
